Rainbow Brite's stolen footwear

How many Rainbow Brites were killed in the making of these shoes? Hopefully all of them. Stupid cartoon. Talk about creativity, can't fault the designer there. I suspect LSD was involved...''and that's where the Leprechaun told me to light fires!'' Keep on inhaling all that paint kids you just might be allowed to design shoes like this. Pfft! 5 years olds and their crayons...

It's not easy being green...

I actually thought these were for women. I did a double take only to notice the width. But I say if you're a woman and have big feet (because obviously you're a glorious Amazonian woman and are 7ft tall) I think you need these. If you are a dude and love colour these loafers got your back. The detailing is pretty, the colours are fun and it takes no time to do your laces up. Eh? Eh? I can't imagine any man I know wear these but I think it's a pretty design. Remember it's not easy being green.

Photo from Christian Louboutin website

The things German tourists wear

Don't know about this one Prada. You kind of designed for old German tourists who for fun like hiking in the Australian desert and enjoy telling jokes like; How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? One. This is no laughing matter, humour is very serious. Boing!! 

Once you take a look at the whole collection it makes sense. As individual pieces 'mii no capish'.

Don't worry I still love you.

Photo from Prada website

Saturday Night Spirit Animal Pumps

Oh hello muchachas did I just find my Saturday night spirit animal pumps? Hells to the yeah! Eat your heart out Carmen Miranda, I just found out what your heaven looks like. It looks like these shoes hon-ney! (Snap your finger).

Quick, someone call up Gina Liano I found her next serious acquisition. You need these in your sparkle wardrobe Gina, do it! Doooo it! 

You know what I am doing right now? I am doing a little chair dance, swaying my head to and fro because these pumps have affected me on a cellular level. To celebrate let's all shake our maracas to Brazil (and when I say maracas I mean boobs, if you're a man shake your moobs).

Photos from Rene Caovilla website

Not off-FENDI-ded

Sure it's plastic but it's cool. Plus I am sure it's the really really expensive plastic.  High quality plastic that is perfumed or something. By now you are thinking but in the summer time I sweat. Right? Well let me tell you the people who can afford these pay someone else to sweat for them. Geez! Or at least the plastic surgeon has zapped their sudoriparous glands therefore void of any human body malfunctions. Anyhooooo I like these designs but i'll take mine in leather thanks.

Photos from Fendi website

Elastic Heart

We've had some lovely weather here in Italy the last couple of days so of course i've been eagerly doing my job that is, researching all the summer footwear in the world. What did I ever do without the internet? (Read a book?). I came across Gucci smoochie here and though elastic is a pretty cool invention (I know i've never gone through xmas lunch without stretchy pants) I can't just fathom paying 600 buckaroos for a pair of thongs (flip-flops) held together by elastic. Yeah I get it, it's Gucci and I am sure they use the best elastic around but surely a better solution could have been found, no? I admit, I too have designed shoes with elastic but without the price tag of a million dollars. Oh, and   also I covered the elastic in leather, trying to hide the fact that I had used elastic in the first place. I ain't dissing elastic just to reiterate.

Photos from Gucci website

Loriblu Heels

Does anyone remember a little store that popped up on Rundle Street in Adelaide in the mid 90s that I thought as a young teen was a 'candy' store (LOLLIES DAMN IT! They are called lollies) then I realised as my folks hushed me away that in fact it wasn't selling sweets but condoms, flavoured condoms, chocolate panties (so dirty) and genitalia gummies. These shoes, they remind me of that very store. And ice-cream, it also reminds me of ice-cream. Now I want ice-cream.

Photo from LoriBlu