Saturday, November 24, 2012

Walking Tapestry

Wow! My high school librarian is finally in fashion.  It only took her 15 years but she finally can walk around in her carpet jacket without her apparent lack of shame.  Though I am sure the sniggers of bitchy teen girls calling her 'carpet bagger' or 'vance pants' won't stop even if it is a Dolce & Gabbana number, and hers is/was so not.

Pros - You can blend into you're grandma's wall and steal all the tea biscuits.
Cons - As if I have to explain that one.

Yo frump dress! You are half lacey potato sack, half my mothers hand stitiching phase from the 90s and you cost a wooping arse kicking €5000.  Hey ma, why didn't you become a fashion designer?

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Hoth Fashion

As I snapped these photos I said (loudly, in English) ''LUKE I AM YOUR FATHER IT IS YOUR DESTINY'' and added the usual Vader breathing sound effects.  Yes the snob Milanese did a double take and screwed up their siliconed faces ''Who is this ragazza?'' b'oh?

Take me to Hoth I wanna do a galatic Sci-Fi spread of fabulosity. Star Wars, Storm Trooper Mod 60s chic.  This is what my people want, fashion moon walking.

 I can't resist. This dedicated to my Bro

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Its! Robin Hood!

God have mercy on its sole!

Instantly I had Disney's 1950s/60s version of ROBIN HOOD.  Then it all came back to me, the voice of the fat chicken, Lady Kluck (northener accent, my first accent I ever tried to mimic). ''Maid Marrion, don't loook arrrround, I think we're surrrounded.''  Apart from taking me back to my favourite childhood cartoon, (yeah I wore out the VHS) I immediately thought, it's felt! How in showery hell will that keep the wet out?  Call me practical, (call me my mother) but seriously designers, the powers that be, is this going to keep my feet dry?  Felt should be for slippers, indoors people, indoors. Like the hidious UGG Boots, you are not fashion, you are house bound, you are trakkydak slob wear for INDOOR EYES ONLY.  Do you understand Robin Hood sneakers? With your Voodoo Vince stitching, your playful flapping bits at the back.  Such frivolity, I can't take it.  Oh cruel world you play jokes on the consumer, yes you seem warm and snug with your felt ways and your vulcanized sole.  But I see your tricks, you're as tranparent as a gelatinous blob, you can't fool me this winter...

But after it's been said the little soap and sacrificer in me says, but It's Robin Hood.  You love Robin Hood.  Yeah it's cute, if I was 10.


Seize the fat one! 

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Swaroski propaganda

You know how I said I was over the sparkly designs that have been plaguing the Italian streets for far too long. I lied.  No I will not be shitting out a Zsa Zsa Gabor.  As I watched this, a big woooooosh of inspiration piled into my inner jelly blob (my brain).  Visions.  I HAVE VISIONS FOR THE WORLD OF TOMORROooooow. Nah, nothing quite as dramatic some of it's poo, some of it's magical.  Enjoy fellow soap and sacrificers.  

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

All Saint's Day

Yes, I'm late with it.  

What's with the continued fascination with skull heads?  It's eery, it's positvely spooky, it's creepy and kooky.  It always reminds me of growing up with that skull head placed in our library at home strategically placed next to that horror, the cow's tooth. Thanks Dad.  (It exsisted in our house for medical studies).  Funny though I found the cow's tooth way more disturbing than that of that poor individuals skull.  I did play with that skull and I'm pretty sure my siblings and I terrorised friends with it.  Off beat children!  Hilarious when people scream...MUAWAHAHAHAHAHA. 

On a serious note, what the hell is with the tartan. I offend my brother inlaw now but shit people don't bring it 'scottish' back they ain't known for the flair only flashing of their bits and haggis and who the hell eats that shit?