Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Yo Mama Celine!

Oh Celine! Yo Mama is so...

Yo mama is so hairy, she looks like Bigfoot in a tank top.

Yo mama is so hairy, you almost died of rug burn at birth!

Yo mama is so hairy, she shaves her legs with a whipper Snipper.

Yo mama is so hairy, when she's at a nude beach people think she's wearing a fur coat!

Yo mama is so hairy, when I took her to a pet store they locked her in a cage.

Yo mama is so hairy, it took 5 people to give her a Brazilian bikini wax.

Yo mama is so hairy, they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower!

Yo mama is so hairy, her breasts look like coconuts.

Yo mama is so hairy, two birds made nests in her armpits and she doesn't even know about it!

Yo mama is so hairy, she looks like a chia pet with a sweater on.

Yo mama is so hairy, she can go to Antartica and not get cold.

Yo mama is so hairy, that you need a lawn mower for her back

Yo mama is so hairy, Jane Goodall follows her around.

Yo mama is so hairy, her armpits look like she has Don King in a headlock.

Yo mama is so hairy, she's got sideburns on her tits.

Yo mama is so hairy, people run up to her and say "Chewbacca, can I get your autograph?"

Yo mama is so hairy even big foot was afraid of her

Friday, June 21, 2013

Shots from Sydney Fashion Week 2013

Disappointing it was to find out that I had done some work for people only to discover that I wouldn't get paid for it. I've been had! Foiled again like last nights dinner. D'oh! In true Soap and Sacrifice fashion I say to the party in question, kindly go fuck yourself (obviously said in a respectful 'go fuck yerrrrself way'). Ahhh fashion you are as fickle as the people make you out to be when in reality you are an important everyday item. After all doctors do wear clothes too, scientists with their lab coats, teachers with their carpet jackets, white upper middle class housewives with their yoga tracksuits. Doesn't sound fickle to me at all, does it? 

I am going to get one of those books titled 'people I'd like to punch in the face' and write names in it. So I say here you are world look at some photos of these kids at Sydney Fashion Week.

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Lace me up Ciocie

Lace me up in all the colours. I love this, no not because I want to dress up like a hanging salami or a stuffed Floretine chicken breast though I am sure I will eat that for dinner tonight. It's because I'm a nerd, yeah fashion history is alright with me.  If you follow my Instagram (ThisWogLife) you will see a few examples of Abruzzese traditional dress and their pleasant peasant shoes. Yes I come from a string of mountainesque goat herders and farmers and the smartest thing my parents and grandparents ever did was to leave. They left behind the very quaint and disturbingly beautiful lands of Abruzzo with it's rich history of battle, struggle, depression and not to mention their 'ciocie' or as my cousins call them 'pixie shoes'. Oh yeah I remember dressing up in them and though you can't see I do believe I was wearing them.

My point - These shoes are just a modern interpretation of 'christmas past' though I wouldn't plough in them but I'd surely pose in them and look good while doing it.  Let's look at the facts, a ciocie is a poor man's shoe, a workers shoe. It's to cover the feet from soil and hardship. So who are we fooling? Is this just a way of saying that we aren't really as rich as we would like to be? Or are we yearning to throw off the shackles of easy living? The feet are bare under the lacing, there is nothing to hide.

The photo found - I look as impressed as a toilet seat waiting for a fat lady.
I'm the smallest out of the costumed litter, my ma is in the white pants. The others were all part of the Abruzzese Australian Community. B'oh?
The famous Ciocie

Monday, June 17, 2013

Getting Creepy

Two gal-friends, sneaking around the streets of Sydney. They're tough, grounded and on the look out for a 50s brothel or just a really good cup of CWoffee.  A gal on the go can't resist the thickness of a good rubber sole, real bitches gotta eat. Shit dude, (to quote a dear friend of mine) 'This ain't Sex and The City and I don't give a damn!'  If I wanted to feel the filthy floor i'd go around barefoot.

Thursday, June 6, 2013

It started with a pet.

A growing obsession that started around 2009/2010 as a patted a belly dancers pet snake a big fat long suspicious snake. The type? I didn't ask but as I pet it, my eyes gleamed 'This would make a fabulous bag'. The belly dancer eyes vaguely pierced me and backed away. Soft it was and a rather pretty pattern and colour.  The things I blurt out in the name of fashion.